How to Not get Eaten by Lions

Road trips and traveling, in general, is a dream to many, and that was the case for Carol and Brian. Brian works in the City as an accountant in one of the big media companies. He lives in Roysambu, Lumumba Drive, and drives a Subaru outback.

Carol is a third-year student at Kenyatta University, and during the holidays, she goes back to her rural home in Muranga to help in her father’s cereal shop.

How they meet

You see, Brian is not just an accountant but a staunch Christian who attends mass every Sunday. However, for some reasons best known to him, he attends mass at Kenyatta University, although he was never a student there nor has any prior association with the institution. There are multiple churches around the Roysambu area, including Madre Teresa Catholic Church and Queen of Apostles opposite Safari Park hotel. However, these churches seem to miss something in Brian’s view. As a KU student, Caro attends mass at Christ the Teacher Catholic Church (the university’s church). It is in the university church that the two meet.


The two started talking and sharing experiences. They talked about childhood, high school, university life, and transitioning from campus to professional life. Carol admired Brian’s success and viewed him as a good role model who could help her build a career in the City rather than going to the village whenever schools close.

It was in one of these conversations that the two realized they shared hobbies, including traveling. One Sunday after the mass, Brian informed Carol that he is on leave and planning to take a road trip to Mombasa; he invited her to join, which she gladly accepted. She had never gone past Athi River toward that side.

The trip

One week later, the two met at Garden City mall and began the trip to Mombasa. Brian was the driver, and Carol was the passenger. No one else was in the car. The trip was going well; Carol was excited and often asked the gentleman to stop so she could take pictures and share them with friends once she returned to campus.

Car problems

When the two entered the Tsavo area, the car slowed down and came to a complete stop a few meters away. Brian managed to park it on the road’s shoulder and informed Carol that they had used all the fuel. Carol asked him what they would do since they have passed the petrol station long ago and there was no one to send to fetch fuel. Well, Brian came with the idea that urine can be used as fuel. Carol was hesitant, but she did not know much about cars to refute the claim. Most people, even men, do not have much knowledge of cars either. So, Brian went into the fuel tank door, did something, and returned. He started the car, and it was running again. They started moving, and everything seemed fine.

More troubles and the fix

The two friends had covered a significant distance and were now inside the Tsavo park area when the problem reoccurred. They stopped again and were now in a dangerous place, “man-eaters” or Tsavo lions’ territory.

Man-Eaters of Tsavo Source: Wikipedia Creative Commons

Brian was worried; Carol was frightened. Brian stated that he could have used the same trick as before, but he had no urine left. He asked Carol if she had any in her bladder, and she replied in affirmative. It was a jackpot. Carol was about to go to the fuel tank door when Brian informed her that she would spill everything. She asked him how they would do it, and he stated that he would get it directly from her. How?

Brian explained the process, but Carol was doubtful. The gentleman informed her that Tsavo lions or other wild animals would eat them if they remained any longer. Carol had no choice; she accepted reluctantly.

The two moved to the back seat, where the “fuel” retrieval process began. Carol laid on the seat and prepared herself. Brian placed his “intake pipe” where it was supposed to be inserted and started pushing in and pulling out, in and out. After 5-10 minutes, the pipe withered, indicating it had taken enough “fuel.” Brian went back to the side of the car and did something. He came back to the driver’s seat, started the engine, and, surprise, the car was running. They were on their way again.


The moral of the story is that if you do not want to be eaten by lions, then feed the “monkey” the “bean,” and you’ll be safe.

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